Writer Calls out Tyrese, Rev. Run & Steve Harvey for Giving Out Bad Relationship Advice

The Root writer Demetria Lucas D’oyley feels like Steve Harvey, Rev. Run and Tyrese continuously give harmful advice to women, and the advice seems to relieve men of any responsibilities when it comes to love and relationships.

She writes:

And while I’m disappointed—more so in Rev. Run than Tyrese, from whom, after years of shallow and misguided observations on social media, I’ve come to expect nothing—I’m not surprised by their s*xism. It’s a common theme among men, including many so-called relationship experts. And that’s a huge problem.

…Take, for instance, best-selling author Steve Harvey, who, despite the backlash he receives, does hit the mark sometimes. But when he misses? Honey! Harvey’s misogynistic gaffes were enough to inspire a popular YouTube compilation, “[S–t] Steve Harvey Says,” which has been viewed nearly 3 million times. Among the highlights? Harvey on why men cheat: “Because women allow them to” and because “women cheat with them.”

So, let me get this straight: A man cheating isn’t a man’s fault, and it’s no reflection on his moral compass or self-control and his lack of honesty or respect for his mate? He cheats because he’s absolutely not accountable and a woman allowed him?

Now, I’m confused because Harvey’s always talking about men being leaders (also s*xist). If he’s a leader, then how is cheating “being allowed” by a woman? If a woman has the power to allow or not, isn’t she the actual leader? If so, give her the credit.

Harvey gets a lot of flak for his views because he’s the face of (black) relationship advice, but that sexist (and misogynistic) outlook trickles down to the Hotep experts who peddle their “advice” via Internet memes. You can barely open your browser or a social media app without encountering a photo of a semiattractive man next to a banal quote about what’s wrong with “females”­­—especially those with weaves; those who carry condoms in their purses (because God forbid a woman take the onus of protecting herself); those who are feminists or independent; those who aren’t “covered up”; and those who are single mothers (never a word critiquing single fathers ever)—and how each of these things makes them unworthy, unrespectable or, at best, incredibly flawed romantic partners.

What’s as bad as the bad advice from male experts is that relationship advice is rarely, if ever, aimed at men. Anytime a woman merely suggests to men that there are better ways to be a man, she’s swiftly and loudly told that a woman can’t tell a man how to be a man because women fundamentally don’t understand men. This is accepted as a universal truth.

So what exactly is it that gives men the inherent understanding of women to tell them how to be better women?


What are your thoughts?

2 of 2Next


  1. Aren’t a lot of men s-xist? That’s why we shouldn’t go to any of them for relationship advice, unless they can prove they aren’t.

  2. I don’t take any of them seriously. One has been divorced like three times, the other one assaulted his pregnant ex wife, and the other one was a rapper who entertained groupies so much back in the day and was accused of r-pe. So yeah, they have no advice to give me or any woman. LOL.

  3. She told no lie about those annoying a-s hoteps. I can’t stand them. Instead of getting off their a-ses and being productive, they sit on the computer all day and make up memes to degrade black women all day.

  4. Well said. A relationship is maintained by two people, not just the woman. If more men understood that, there wouldn’t even be a market for Steve, Tyrese, and Run to spread the ignorance they spread. We have to stop acting like men don’t have any personal responsibility.

  5. A lot of the problem is a lot of women are misogynistic themselves, so they don’t see a problem with the anti-women/it’s a woman’s responsibility to make a relationship work rhetoric they keep talking.

    1. Totally agree! Many women continue to perpetuate this belief that men are ALWAYS right and should not be held accountable for their behavior.

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