‘Fix My Life’ Recap: Lamar Threatens to Leave + Iyanla Calls His Bluff

Cornelius opens up to La’Gena as Dwight reels from his wife’s revelation.

Dwight needs a moment to himself after Marcia told him she grew past him and asked to be let go. Cornelius, who stood behind Dwight, felt his pain.

Cornelius, next up to speak to his wife, opens up. He says he was lost, “long before” they met. He explains that he wasn’t ready to be married.

“I didn’t know how to be a husband.” – Cornelius

He starts to shed tears in shame, and Iyanla gets up to stop him hanging his head.

“Don’t ever… ever hang your head.” – Iyanla

He sits back and further opens up to his wife. He is regretful of manifesting his issues into his marriage, causing issues. La’Gena is happy he opened up. She tells him that she knew he wasn’t ready to be married.

Lamar and Vakhara demonstrate they aren’t on the same page.

Things get tense when Iyanla turned to Lamar and Vakhara. She thought marrying him would change Lamar. Iyanla asks Vakhara if he is the right one for her.

“He isn’t because we don’t bring out the best in each other.” – Vakhara

She ends the session with everyone and pulls Lamar into a one on one session. Lamar still is not showing any amount of empathy towards his wife.

When they get one on one, Lamar explains that he did want to be in Vakhara’s presence and failed to work out their issues. He tells her that he shuts down, which is the opposite of his personality. He also didn’t stop his wife from moving out.

He also admits he wants to be married to his wife, despite Iyanla saying there, not reacting to his wife. When he tells Iyanla he’s been told he’s a great communicator, she busts out laughing.

“That’s crazy as hell. Either your are totally unaware, or you’re lying.”

Next, she speaks with Vakhara one on one. Vakhara tells Iyanla that she is seeing things more clearly on her marriage. She says, “It’s clear I didn’t pick the right kind of person to marry.”

Iyanla tells her that she didn’t set up clear boundaries when they first got involved 18 years ago. She also wants to know why Vakhara moved out. Vakhara tells him that she was clear it’s disrespectful for him not to come home at night. She intended to move back in with him, but she isn’t seeing any clear change.

Iyanla tells her that he and Vakhara just aren’t on the same page. Vakhara says she realizes this and has to live in her own reality.

Iyanla uses questions to tell her that perhaps that her purpose with Lamar was to birth 3 children and learn how to be love. She explains this by also telling how she ended a relationship with someone recently after 14 years.

Iyanla asks if she can recreate her marriage with Lamar, and Vakhara says she does not want him the way he is.

Lamar and Vakhara later meet with Iyanla to try to get on the same page. Iyanla goes over the survey sheets they filled out. Lamar says his relationship and his self-esteem are at 10’s while Vakhara says it’s a 4. Iyanla tells them they got to get on the same page, figuring out if they are right for each other.

Lamar says he’s tired of fighting, and Vakhara says he isn’t loving and supporting her in their marriage. He asks if she thinks he can do it, and Vakhara says no. He says they aren’t in the same page, and Iyanla says “Y’all aint even on the same book.”

She then tells them straight up that they need counseling if they are to move forward.

Dwight is set straight by Iyanla.

Iyanla next meets with Dwight. She tells Dwight that he didn’t realize the “implicit control” he had over her due to their 14 year age difference.

She then tells Dwight he lost his wife, and may likely move out. Dwight tells her that his father wasn’t there and he promised himself that he will have a traditional, nuclear family. He starts crying because that promise he mad for himself is breaking. He also reveals that he has two other children and the split with their parents caused his children to be split. Therefore, he feels he isn’t getting to have another split from the children he has with Marcia.

Iyanla tells him that this won’t be a repeat of what happened with his first wife.

“You’re going to get to create this with someone who loves and cares about you. You’re gonna be okay.” – Iyanla

She then tells him to ball up paper towels and to drop them, symbolizing letting go of Marcia.

Lamar shows how Petty he can be, embarrassing Vakhara in the process.

The next day, Iyanla invites the wives to a tea party. Iyanla is going over what she observed yesterday. She first starts off by saying she isn’t advocating for their relationships to end. But, she wants them to make a choice of what they are going to do about their relationship, and the fact that they are still holding things back.

She asks them “Who they are now, and who their husbands are now?” Vakhara says the realized her and her husband aren’t on the same page. La’Gena says that she finally sees Cornelius’ vulnerability. Marcia says she sees Dwight putting up a resistance to what she wants.

Iyanla tells them that they are going to confront their husbands, telling them what they each ultimately want from their husbands. The couples get back together and sit mixed They get envelopes with words written on them. Lamar got a card that said, “petty.” Cornelius got “indifferent,” and Dwight’s says “in denial.”

Lamar doesn’t feel like he is petty, but Iyanla and Vakhara say otherwise. A flashback of his statements in previous sessions showing his pettiness towards his wife’s debts and other baggage in the beginning of their time together.

It’s also revealed Lamar almost didn’t come to the sessions. He also says that he doesn’t want to be there right now.

“I got something else to do.” – Lamar

He also reveals that he is also Vakhara’s pastor, to which La’Gena mumbles, “Jesus take the wheel.” Vakhara says that she is ashamed and embarrassed Lamar would even say anything right now.

When Lamar says one more time that he doesn’t want to be there, Iyanla replies, “Well, I’m not going to fight you for your healing!”

 

What are your thoughts on the episode?