At the beginning of the episode, Iyanla introduces the Mitchell brothers. They are 5 brothers who all found themselves in the foster care, group home system. This occurred as a consequence of their parent’s drug use.
The brothers are as follows:
Michael Jr., age 36, Oldest of the seven brothers
Markis, age 32, Blames Michael Jr for Marvin’s death
Mikuel, age 30, Peacemaker of the family
Marvin, age 29, Wrote to Iyanla for help
Melvin, age 28, Youngest of the seven brothers
Miguel, deceased 06/10/2013
Monte, currently serving 70 years prison for armed robbery
All of them were in foster care. Iyanla’s goal is to try to build a bond between the brothers and deal with the pain of going to foster care. This is the first time five of the brothers have been under the same roof since Miguel’s funeral.
The brothers meet with Iyanla and they talk about their parents.
Iyanla has them sit down in order by age. She does this in an effort to begin to stabilize their brotherhood. Iyanla begins to ask them to tell their family story in 50 words, starting with Mikuel.
He tells Iyanla he was born to “drug-addicted parents,” adding it was chaotic.
“I was born into chaos.” Mikuel
Next, Mikuel says he read some of his brothers were born with drugs in their system.
Markus tells Iyanla that he was in the foster care system most of his life, and didn’t know his youngest brothers Marvin and Melvin growing up. Marvin interjects that he and Melvin were in different foster homes from the other brothers.
Monte was convicted of armed robbery at age 16 and all the brothers had a relationship with Miguel.
The brothers then speak about the details surrounding Miguel’s death.
The conversation turns to Miguel’s death next. Michael Jr. tries to explain his side of what happened, but Marvin jumps in saying he was murdered.
Michael does say, “[Miguel] got shot, and they shot me in the leg.”
Markis and Marvin explain that Michael Jr. was selling drugs and got caught up in a turf dispute.
Suddenly, Melvin jumps in and says that Michael, “knows better than any of us.”
During an interview, Melvin brings up that Michael is mentally challenged. However, Melvin seems to still harbor blame for Michael about what happened to Miguel.
Micheal continues to explain what happened the best he could. He tells Iyanla he was previously robbed. The robber apparently warned him that they would kill him and Miguel if they returned to the disputed drug turf.
Melvin jumps back in, telling Markus he nor Michael didn’t tell them that detail.
“We didn’t know that.” – Melvin
During his interview, Marvin says he heard multiple stories surrounding Miguel’s murder.
Markus then tells Melvin he went with Michael and Miguel to find the ones who robbed Michael.
“Well, how can you be upset with [Michael], and you didn’t even tell us this part? All we know is that Miguel was gunned down at a liquor store.” – Melvin
Iyanla then asks Markus if he’s upset with Michael.
“Yes, because it’s more to the story.” – Markus
Iyanla then says, “Maybe there isn’t.”
Despite this, Markus is still adamant Michael is responsible for Miguel’s death.
Markus and Melvin argue as Melvin defends Michael Jr.
Melvin jumps back on Markus for being upset with Michael because of his mental impairment.
Next, Michael continues to explain how he was set up. He mentions that someone called him wanting “a serve,” which means to buy drugs.
When Michael arrived, he was robbed.
During Mikuel’s interview, he explains that Michael was an easy target to be taken advantage of. Miguel knew about this, and went to confront the people who robbed Michael.
“The reality is your situations put him in a situation.” Marvin
As Michael talks, Markus sits next to him, shaking his head. Iyanla noticed this and asked him why is he doing this.
Markus explained that Miguel was over-protective of Michael and quickly went to Michael’s defense after he was robbed.
Suddenly, Markus and Melvin begin to argue over Michael’s account.
Iyanla is fascinated by the argument because she observed how the brothers interact with one another.
She asks Markus what he expected when they brought guns, he said, “Somebody was gonna die.”
“They did. It just wasn’t the person you wanted.” – Iyanla
Eventually, Iyanla stops Melvin, telling him she’s going to teach him how to listen “at a deeper level.”
She points out that Markus said he never let anything happen to Michael or Miguel “as if it was his job.”
“That was your father’s job. So it wasn’t you, baby.” – Iyanla
Markus revealed he has four sons. This worries Iyanla.
“Oh beloved, you got to clean that up. Because you’ll pass that rage on to them young boys, to your babies.” – Iyanla
At the end of the discussion, Iyanla explained their trauma is long-suffering and they have a long Road to recovery.
Marvin reveals pain from dealing with molestation in foster care.
Afterwards, Iyanla sits one on one with Marvin, who called into the show. He explains to Iyanla that he is seeking everyone to forgive each other and their parents.
He explains that a case worker explained that a family wanted to adopt all of them. This is where he learned he had more than one brother.
Marvin tells Iyanla that he and Markus don’t get along, calling him “the fiesty one.”
She asked if he knows what happened to Markus in foster care, he reveals he doesn’t know. However, he has his own traumatic experience. He tells Iyanla a 19-year-old molested him after Markus ran away from the group home.
The 19-year-old was really “nice” to him, buying him food and candy. He begins to cry telling Iyanla this, because he felt he deserved the treatment.
Markus and his other brothers were his protection from this.
Iyanla strongly disagrees with him, telling him he didn’t deserve it. She then hugs it out with Marvin.
Iyanla tells Marvin that she has to forgive himself. She asks him how he copes and he says he goes searching “between a man’s legs” to find love he never received from his parents.
He also says he thinks about killing self everyday. Iyanla tells him, “this is not the answer.”
Despite arguing earlier, the brothers work together.
Later on, she meets with all the brothers in the backyard. She has them building a “shelter” in a team-building exercise.
Early in the exercise, Marvin and Melvin begin to argue and then Marvin walks off. Iyanla catches up with him, convincing him to rejoin the group.
Marvin returns and apologizes for walking off. They all contribute to work on the shelter. Iyanla tells him they did it with minimum instruction together. She praises them for completing the exercise the way they did.
Markus reveals anger over their father not being there for them.
Next, Iyanla has her sit down with Markus. Markus admits he is not proud of things he did in his past. He also feels regret for not “protecting” Miguel.
Markus says he became the protector of his brothers at age 7, because Michael Jr. was not there for them. He tells Iyanla Michael Jr. had many drugs in his system at birth.
When she brings up running away from the group home, leaving Marvin behind, Markus says, “It’s bigger than that.”
He admits regret from running away from the group home without Marvin. Markus began to cry talking about it. He felt that they weren’t going to touch him.
Iyanla presses him the fact Michael Sr. failed them as children. As Markus begins to cry, Iyanla moves in to hug him.
“You did the best you could.” – Iyanla
Michael Sr. struggles to admit to pain caused by his issues.
Next, Iyanla meets with Michael Sr. Iyanla seeks to understand how all of this occurred.
He says he ended up a single parent after his wife left him. He claims he doesn’t know why his wife left, however, Iyanla gets him to admit he did drugs and was a screw-up.
She then harps on the fact his wife also did drugs while pregnant.
Iyanla then asked how the kids ended up in group homes. He admits a case worker had psych evaluations performed on the kids.
During the conversation, Iyanla struggles holding back her anger with Michael.
When they talk about the boys, he says they are very angry with him. Iyanla says this happened because he “failed them.”
Iyanla learned that this is a long-lasting cycle of fathers failing their kids, because Michael didn’t have his father either.
Lastly, Iyanla tells them he needs to be willing to face his sons and admit his failure to stop the cycle.
“You gotta be willing to sit in their truth. You got to be willing to let them beat you up.” – Iyanla
As a result, Iyanla will have Michael Sr. join the group.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
Sad situation all around.
This sh-t is deep.
I love those young men and I love their families too … I pray Gods healing on every single one of them in Jesus Name AMEN.
You can tell when people really want help. I hope everything works out.
I just wanted to hug all of them. Going through the foster care/ group home system is no joke. I hope they all get the healing they need. Family is all you got sometimes in this thing called life.
Markis and Melvin have the tempers. That is why they keep bumping heads.