Monique tells Iyanla about trauma first suffered at age six.
The episode begins with Cynthia arriving to meet Iyanla with her daughter Monique. Monique wrote in to Iyanla because she wants help. Cynthia says she doesn’t know how to be a parent.
Firstly, Iyanla takes Monique to meet one on one and Monique’s crying. Monique says she didn’t have a childhood. That’s because she was molested at age 6.
This caused Monique to “learn about s*x” at a young age. While this was going on, her mom Cynthia was in foster care. Iyanla tells her to have compassion for her 6 year-old self.
“I’m tired of feeling alone.” – Monique
Next, they talk about Monique at age 12. Monique was back with her mom. At the time, she got pregnant by a 21 year-old man, resulting in an abortion.
To pay for it, she used prostitution. It’s pointed out that Monique never shared this with Cynthia.
At this point, Iyanla’s interested in her relationship with Cynthia. Monique and Cynthia cuss and yell at one another. As a result, Monique has little compassion with her children.
When asked what she sees in a mirror, Monique says she sees someone she hates.
“I just want to hurt someone as much as I’ve been hurt.” – Monique
A mirror in front of Monique brings her to tears.
To drive this home, Iyanla takes her to stand in front of a mirror. When asked if she sees anyone she hates, Monique shakes her head as tears flow.
The mirror includes the word abandonment, which Iyanla says should be at the bottom because “that where she came from.”
The red words are written in permanent and can’t be removed. This includes the word “cancer.”
“I don’t even like thinking about.” – Monique
Monique believes she has cervical cancer after they removed cervix cells. However, she hasn’t gone back to confirm the prognosis. This is because her friend died from the cancer a year ago.
Iyanla won’t take that for an answer and will have a doctor help her.
“That has to be handled, and that’s something you weren’t taught as a girl. Your body is important.” – Iyanla
Iyanla learns from Cynthia Monique’s following in her unfortunate footsteps.
As Monique heads to see another doctor, Iyanla sits down with Cynthia. When Iyanla takes her to see her mirror, Cynthia begins to break down. Iyanla tells Cynthia she passed these things down to Monique.
She then tells Cynthia the words written in black can be removed as she and Monique work to improve their relationship. Cynthia’s moved to tears by the phrase “horrible mother.”
This is due to Cynthia going to prison while her kids were young. She can’t let herself off the hook for that, but Iyanla gets Cynthia to reveal that she was in the same position.
Cynthia was raised by her grandparents and was adopted.
Cynthia then breaks down crying and reveals a painful truth to Iyanla. She was molested by a family member at 6, just like Monique.
Cynthia’s angry about this and Iyanla tells her not to be angry. The tears flow when Cynthia also reveals her grandmother beat her.
At this point, Cynthia is saying the same things Monique said to Iyanla. This further demonstrates how she and Monique were expressing the exact same feelings.
“I just wish I could just hurt people the way they hurt me.” – Cynthia
Iyanla heads over next to Cynthia and consoles her. Cynthia breaks down, revealing feelings of neglect and pain from abuse she experienced. Iyana says her unresolved pain affect her relationship with her daughter.
Iyanla learns the haunting truth of the abuse suffered by Cynthia.
Cynthia then tells Iyanla how she was physically abused while pregnant with Monique. Iyanla reveals to Cynthia that neither she or Monique know much about one another. Since Cynthia is ready to listen to Monique, Iyanla brings the two of them together.
Monique and Cynthia learn from Iyanla that they both said the same thing about not wanting to be alone and wanting to hurt people.
Iyanla also tells Monique that she has to respect Cynthia if she wants her daughter to respect her. Their behaviors are also a “mirror reflection.”
Once they recognized they are experiencing the same pattern, Iyanla tells them they can break it. But that requires Both of them opening up and being completely honest to one another about their stories.
“For a moment, I just want you all to stop being mother and daughter; just be two women.” – Iyanla
Things start breaking down when Cynthia learns Monique was molested at six by the same family member that molested her.
Iyanla keeps Cynthia together enough to console Monique. Iyanla gets Monique to give Cynthia details as they console one another.
Iyanla’s ready to get these women “unstuck.”
It’s day two and Iyanla says both of them are still “stuck.” They are still stuck in childhood s*xual trauma. So Iyanla sits them both down so Monique can hear Cynthia’s story. So Iyanla has Cynthia tell Monique how she had a 1 night stand with her father while in a relationship.
Cynthia revealed her girlfriend abused her terribly and tried to abort her pregnancy with a broom. This causes tears to flow between both of them. Iyanla explains to the next how their childhood versions lash out at each other when they are negative and aggressive towards one another.
Next, Cynthia revealed how she was used to abuse. However, Monique criticizes her for putting up with that abuse. Iyanla says she’s holding her accountable.
“Miss Cynthia, you weren’t there. What she is doing is holding you accountable, even for things you can’t explain.” – Iyanla
Then Monique hears from Iyanla that Cynthia didn’t know any better as Cynthia apologizes.
They both hear from Iyanla that they have the power to stop the generational curses they have. This inspires Cynthia to tearfully ask for forgiveness for not being there. Monique tearfully forgives her mom and they embrace one another.
Afterwards, they go in front of their mirrors together. They symbolically clean their mirrors. Some things remain, including Monique’s cancer. Iyanla hopes they can forge a new relationship, breaking the curses that’s been in their lines.
On the last day of filming, they meet Dr. Nita Landry. It’s revealed Monique doesn’t have cancer, but she has to stay on top of things to make sure it doesn’t happen.
This leads Monique to be proactive about her health.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
