Iyanla immediately deals with serious emotional issues from Nigel.
Before the family arrives, Iyanla gets a call from the producers about Nigel, who’s visiting with his brother Cornell. Something happened the night before their meeting and Iyanla meets with Cornell to find out what happened.
Cornell tells Iyanla that Nigel threatened to harm himself and possibly was abusing drugs before the threat was issued. Iyanla asks how to support him and Nigel and Cornell says he isn’t sure. She also compares him to a “beautiful tree without roots,” because he and Nigel grew up without their father.
Next, Iyanla goes to check in on Nigel. She won’t even have him meet with his father if Nigel is experiencing more serious issues.
When she sees Nigel, he denies he claimed to harm himself. However, he was throwing up blood, which Nigel attributes to his diagnosis of prostate cancer.
“I don’t feel good. I’m dying.” – Nigel
Iyanla asks Nigel if he wants to die and he says he’s ready to die. Iyanla asks him if he knows how to live, and Nigel says he doesn’t know.
When she brings up how he was using drugs the night before, he denies this. He also declares he’s emotionally ready to confront his father. Nigel claims he learned to be a father from his dad, claiming he learned from his mistakes. He also calls his mom, who passed away, his father.
“When she died, I became a man. I was 14.” – Nigel
Cornell and Nigel console one another.
Finally, Iyanla gets Cornell and Nigel to come together to speak about what happened the night before. She asks them if Nigel was using drugs yesterday. He’s adamant he wasn’t but he was drinking. She shares with the bothers a call they had with the producers where Cornell called. This angered Nigel and he confronts Cornell about it.
He puts his foot down with Cornell, telling him that they are only there to establish a relationship with their father Neil.
Cornell says he only reached out because he’s concerned with Nigel’s well-being. Iyanla steps in and explains how she doesn’t want Nigel calling Cornell the n-word.
“Few words have done more damage than the n-word.” – Iyanla
But the two brush that off and focuses on the actual issue, which is Cornell’s concern. Eventually, Nigel apologizes for his aggression and says his anger was developed from watching his mom shooting up heroin.
The brothers then console one another as the tears begin to flow as they talk about their mother and father. Iyanla tells them that perhaps he couldn’t be there because he didn’t want his kids to see him as a druggie.
Lastly, Iyanla coaches Nigel to be open to their father Neil’s perspective.
Cornelius isn’t really open to talking to his father.
Next, Iyanla talks to Cornell’s twin Cornelius with Cornell and Nigel present. Cornelius is the oldest brother and he’s not thinking about his father very much. He just wants to learn why his father wasn’t there.
Iyanla asks what Nigel told him and Cornelius says Nigel used the excuse that he was not in his right mind. She asks what Nigel could to make it better now and they all say to be honest and present. However, Cornelius then says there’s nothing Neil could do now.
Next, she has them all raise their arms and say, “I am my father’s son,” referring to God and how he’s always been there for them. She then has them say, “I am my brother’s keeper,” and “I am my own man.”
Iyanla tells them that Neil isn’t there to be a father now.
Overall, she sees Cornelius still has his guard up so she meets with him one on one.
Cornelius says talking about his feelings make him uncomfortable. Iyanla brings up the fact Cornelius is a father and she’s exhibiting similar behaviors Nigel shown to him and his brothers.
Cornelius served in the military and also dealt with divorce. Despite all of this, Iyanla’s still wants Cornelius to drop his guard when he sees Nigel. She then speaks to Cornelius about his failed marriage.
She tells him that he has to change his angered-filled ways for his son and explains that he’s just fulfilling a legacy of failure right now because of all of this.
Neil reveals he questioned the paternity of the twin brothers.
Finally, Iyanla meets with Neil and she wants to hear how he walked away from his sons.
She first asks why he reached out and Neil says he wants to build a relationship with his boys, specifically Nigel. He says he met their mom at 22 and he got locked up just before their mom gave birth to Cornell and Cornelius. Neil says she was using heroin and cocaine when they were born and their aunt had to take them in, keeping them out of the state’s hands.
Iyanla tells Neil that the boys need to understand emotionally why he wasn’t there.
Neil says he didn’t want to be around his whole family due to addiction. In fact, he could never stay clean long enough to be there for them. Things also get interesting when he says he doesn’t believe Cornell and Cornelius are his biological sons. He claims their mom was having s*x for money around the time they were conceived.
Iyanla tells Neil that he should tell them about this revelation and “clean that up.”
So Iyanla sets up a paternity test to be conducted and tells the brothers about this.
When she tells them, that news, Cornelius says it’s the first time hearing it.
Iyanla explains to Cornelius what he’s going through with his ex-wife is similar to what Neil went through with their mother Laverne.
Cornell says it would be crazy if Neil isn’t their father.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
