Sex Questions: “My Boyfriend Says We Should Have An Open Relationship”

A reader wants to know what to do when her lover wants to invite others into the relationship and into the bedroom.

By: Amanda Anderson-Niles

Amanda,

I am in a really confusing situation. You see, I have been in a relationship with a close friend for the last 4 years. We’re now in our mid 20s, and out of the blue, he asks me if we could consider making our relationship open. He keeps telling me that an open relationship isn’t a terrible thing, and that if I was a Ride or Die Chick, I would actually consider it. He also told me that the most confident women have no problem with their men experimenting with other women. Honestly, I think this is nothing but BS. There’s no way I could be in an open relationship. But I wanted your opinion and an unbiased point of view.

What do you think I should do?

Porsha W.

 

Porsha,

You’re absolutely right, this is bullsh-t. I’ll be frank with you.

Your boyfriend is most likely bored and tired of the relationship. He’s been with you for a few years, and he honestly wants to test the waters with other women. But just one thing: he wants you to remain in the picture while he dates other women.

Men can be sneaky. So it makes me wonder if he’s already been seeing other women before he asked you to consider making your relationship an open one. While this is unfortunate, many women find themselves in similar shoes, even though they have been with a man for years.

My advice to you is to just move on, especially if you know that an open relationship is not what you want. It will hurt to split with someone you’ve been with for years, but just because you’ve been with someone for a few years, it doesn’t mean you guys were meant to be. Longevity matters not in this case.

I do wish you the best and I hope you find the courage necessary to move on from this situation. It will be scary at first, but I’m confident you’ll find someone who just wants to be with you and no one else.

Got a relationship or sex question? Send it to Amanda.

7 comments

  1. I’m getting ready to go out but I had to comment on this one. My last boyfriend (before I met my fiance) and I had been together for two years y’all. Two years! And all of a sudden he starts talking to me about open relationships. I mean, telling me why they aren’t that bad and how it would be good for us. My feelings were hurt but I broke it off after that because I feel like a man is emotionally removed from a woman once he starts desiring an open relationship. I think you gave the right advice and I hope she finds happiness!

  2. Oh no ma’am! It’s definitely time to leave that dude. I don’t do open NATHAN and no one can convince me otherwise. Deuces!

  3. It’s amazing how when men ask for things they know they shouldn’t get, they bring up the whole “Ride or Die Chick” label. Please.

    1. You sound like a female that can’t keep a man. You need to learn how to get down with the get down. Be like that model chick dating Chris Brown. She knows what’s up and knows how to play her position.

      1. Is that the best you losers can come up with–I can’t keep a man?! I’m married and have been for 5 years. Douchebag. Go ride off a cliff with your Ride or Die idiot.

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