A reader wants to know what to do when her lover wants to invite others into the relationship and into the bedroom.
By: Amanda Anderson-Niles
I am in a really confusing situation. You see, I have been in a relationship with a close friend for the last 4 years. We’re now in our mid 20s, and out of the blue, he asks me if we could consider making our relationship open. He keeps telling me that an open relationship isn’t a terrible thing, and that if I was a Ride or Die Chick, I would actually consider it. He also told me that the most confident women have no problem with their men experimenting with other women. Honestly, I think this is nothing but BS. There’s no way I could be in an open relationship. But I wanted your opinion and an unbiased point of view.
What do you think I should do?
You’re absolutely right, this is bullsh-t. I’ll be frank with you.
Your boyfriend is most likely bored and tired of the relationship. He’s been with you for a few years, and he honestly wants to test the waters with other women. But just one thing: he wants you to remain in the picture while he dates other women.
Men can be sneaky. So it makes me wonder if he’s already been seeing other women before he asked you to consider making your relationship an open one. While this is unfortunate, many women find themselves in similar shoes, even though they have been with a man for years.
My advice to you is to just move on, especially if you know that an open relationship is not what you want. It will hurt to split with someone you’ve been with for years, but just because you’ve been with someone for a few years, it doesn’t mean you guys were meant to be. Longevity matters not in this case.
I do wish you the best and I hope you find the courage necessary to move on from this situation. It will be scary at first, but I’m confident you’ll find someone who just wants to be with you and no one else.
Got a relationship or sex question? Send it to Amanda.