Tamar Braxton thinks it’s a huge mistake for women to think that someone could be the one simply because they are in a relationship. She says:
“I think that most people think that if you call somebody your boyfriend or girlfriend that they could be the one. But that doesn’t mean anything. It’s like you’re the one for right now. And that’s ok.
“You can’t look at everybody like ok this could be the one! Maybe he just crack your back good and that’s ok!”
Despite her issues with women falling too easily for their boyfriends, Tamar also made it clear that when she was single, being intimate with her means there’s an exclusive relationship.
“For me, if we’re kicking it and we’re intimate, to me you’re my boyfriend and that’s it. And I’m your girlfriend and I dare you to say something different. “
Tamera Mowry disagreed with Tamar’s stance on women not getting too serious with boyfriends, and claimed that when she was single, she only dated men to find a husband. Anything else in Tamera’s opinion is a waste of time:
“For me, I just didn’t like just to date just to date. I didn’t go out just to go out.
“What I mean is if I sense that we’re not vibing, why go out with you again? Don’t waste my time.
“I can kick it with you, I can have fun with you, then the thought of maybe going a little further. For me, you’re friends first. Then if we vibe, it’s like yeah ok maybe we can potentially be boyfriend and girlfriend, then I would like to be engaged. And once we’re engaged, I’d like to have a husband.”
Tamar adds:
“Just because you go with somebody doesn’t mean…I don’t get that. I just think it’s healthy to date.
“What you can’t have in the back of your mind is, oh is he the one? Is he the one? Is he the one? That’s when you start settling.”
Tamera responds:
“For me, I was looking for a husband. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.”
Adrienne Bailon then suggests that she feels it comes down to age, and women should just be looking for boyfriends in their 20s and husbands in their 30s.
Check out the video below. It was a pretty interesting conversation.
I have to say I agree with Tamera. I always knew I wanted to get married and when I dated, I really treated it like I was just letting men audition to be my life partner. I made my intentions clear in the beginning with the men I dated, and whoever got nervous and made it known they weren’t sold on marriage never heard from me again.
It really does come down to age. When you’re in your early 20s, most of us are still in school and trying to find ourselves. Now when we get in our mid to late 20s, then we start to want something more. But that doesn’t mean I’m just out here sleeping around either. So yes, Team Tamar on this one.
Both them actually make sense though so I have to agree with both of them.
I thought the whole purpose of dating was to find the one even if marriage ain’t something you want. Everybody needs somebody.
Tamera is talking that common sense. You date to get married. Period.
I know I’m dating to get married but I don’t think every relationship I get in will lead to marriage. Tamar’s right. When you do that, you can easily settle for someone mediocre just because you think you have to. But I’m at that age when I ain’t got time to play. If you ain’t serious about me, you need to get the hell out my face.
I agree with Tamera.
This is interesting. When I met my now husband, we talked on the phone a lot for about 3-4 weeks. We went out on a date. Once we became intimate, MY rule was on deck. (Rule: if we are intimate and you call me the next day, you are my boyfriend. If you don’t call me, it was a booty call and we never have to talk anymore.) Well he called me 12 times the next day so he became my boyfriend and 6 months later he asked me to marry him, 14 years later we are still married and planning our 15 year vow renewal next year.
My mother always told me that when you are a boyfriend or girlfriend that the commitment never at that stage because you can still continue to date whomever you want and that the commitment is when he ask you to marry him. That means he is ready to build a life with you. Girlfriend and Boyfriend is only for the moment and you may not be the one or he may not be the one. It is just a title.