Each couple, and their baggage are introduced.
Iyanla is working with 3 couples trying to save their marriage.
The first couple is Dwight and Maria. They’ve been together for 20 years, married for 11. They met when she was 19 and he was 31. Maria says their biggest problem is their communication.
Maria admitted to having an affair. Dwight says he was shocked to find out. He also says Maria is also the person he married. Maria attributes this to growing up.
Iyanla tells them that they are under a “trial separation” with notepads and other items to help them during their journey.
The next couple is Cornelius and La’Gena. This couple has been married for six years. La’Gena says there has been constant cheating by her husband. Cornelius says he never experienced a healthy marriage outside his great-grandparents. His father, who’s deceased, was in prison along with his mom. In fact, he says he doesn’t respect his mom.
Iyanla says that infidelity is often a symptom of a bigger issue.
Vahara and Lamar have been off and on for over 10 years before they got married. Vahara says that Lamar is disrespectful to her, and has been emotionally abusive. As she cries as she tells her story, he sits there with a blank face.
They are currently separated. This happened because he’s also been unfaithful. He says they had to deal with her debt unexpectedly.
The first session with the couples show that Iyanla has much to do.
For their first session, Iyanla sits with all of the couples with their worksheets she had them fill out. She speaks with La’Gena and Cornelius first. In their discussion, Iyanla discovers that the passing of La’Gena’s father is causing pain that’s driving a wedge. As a result, he cheated.
Next, she speaks to Lamar and Vahara. During their discussion Lamar really doesn’t look like he wants to be there. He says, however he infected his marriage by lying, cheating, and zoning out of their marriage.
Lastly, Iyanla speaks to Dwight and Maria. She openly admits to cheating, and Lamar says he took his wife for granted. But Iyanla thinks he is holding back.
Iyanla sets things straight with the women.
For their next session, Iyana sits with the men and women separated from their spouses. La’Gena reveals that she is harboring feelings about her parents and their relationship, before her father passed. This is affecting her relationship with Cornelius. She also said her greatest fear is being alone.
Marcia tells Iyanal that she feels 19, because she feels insecure. Iyanla suspects this to be due to her husband feels like her father.
“I suspect you’re married to your father.” – Iyanla
Lastly, Vahara seems to be Iyanla’s biggest challenge because her husband has done damage, yet she seems to ignore it.
“Your s*** is falling apart, and every hair is in place.” – Vahara
At the end she tells all of the women that their marriages are done. However, they can safe their marriages.
“It has to be over the way it was. That ain’t working.” – Iyanla
Iyanla learns more about the men and their baggage.
Iyanla wants to learn why their marriages went they way they are going, So, she meets with each of the men. She asks them what taught them how to be a man, and they respond that they didn’t learn how to do this.
Things get specific when Iyanla asks Cornelius and Lamar why they cheated. They couldn’t really answer, and she tells them that they didn’t know who they are.
She then tells Dwight that Marcia was young and didn’t know who she was when she got married.
“I don’t want to be in my marriage… if she’s not happy.” – Dwight
Iyanla then flips it and says he just doesn’t want to be alone. She then tells Lamar that he lives in a boy’s version of manhood, and “no one is home.”
“You have f’d up big time, and you took a woman and 3 children with you.” – Iyanla
Cornelius then reveals anger with her parents for being in prison. He then reveals that his grandfather was in prison, and then tells Iyanla he faced 30 years in prison. In fact, he sat in jail for a year as he waited for trial for drug charges. He’s been dealing with a generational curse of drug dealing.
To demonstrate this, she holds up a mirror to him, and tells him that he needs to take care of himself to beak the curse.
To end the session, she tells them that their wives are living in “total devastation” from their behaviors. She also says that they are dealing with scars and pain from things in their past.
Iyanla has the women work on their alter egos, making their husbands take them on dates.
Next, Iyanla introduces them to Dinorah, who is taking them shopping. Iyanla wants them to shop for closets for their alter egos. When they come back, they introduce their alter egos to their husband. Iyanla wants them to find their voice in their marriages.
These alter egos will be taken out by their husbands for dinner. The next day they all come back together and recap how the dinners went.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
