Gabe and Trina reveal a divorce hasn’t kept them separate.
The episode opens with Gabe and Trina being welcomed by Iyanla. Gabe and Trina have been divorced for two years, but they are still “close.”
Iyanla opens up their first meeting by saying, “I am not here for TV. This is my ministry…”
She then asks Gabe and Trina why they are with her today. Gabe wants to set boundaries. He says they had s*x when she invited him on a vacation to Cabo.
Iyanla says he wants the relationship benefits but doesn’t want to be married. Trina wants Gabe’s relationship with her youngest son Caleb to improve. They tell a story of how Gabe stayed with Caleb and Trina while recovering from surgery. Caleb and Gabe didn’t talk.
Iyanla suspects that the strained relationship with Caleb and Gabe is a symptom of the “toxic” relationship between Trina and Caleb. She asks if Gabe feels he taught Caleb how to be a man, and he says no.
She then says Gabe is clueless about what he really taught Caleb. Gabe has been in Caleb’s life since Caleb was two years old.
Trina’s son Caleb calls Gabe a jerk.
Next, Iyanla meets with Caleb and Eric, Trina’s sons. Caleb says he hasn’t liked Gabe for as long as he remembered.
“He’s a jerk.” – Caleb
Iyanla dives in and Caleb reveals he remembers Gabe yelling a lot and feeling unable to meet Gabe’s “expectations.” Eric feels like he’s on a common ground with Gabe.
Caleb doesn’t think Gabe treats Trina well. According to Caleb, Trina has been self-conscious about herself.
During their conversation, Iyanla reveals that there should be boundaries between Trina and Caleb in terms of her inner-most feelings about her relationship. She’s also miffed about Caleb revealing he didn’t know Gabe stayed in their guest house.
Caleb is also surprised Gabe didn’t know how he felt. Overall, Iyanla senses Caleb’s feelings surround the neglect he felt from Gabe.
However, she notices Caleb and Gabe are similar to one another.
Iyanla will get Gabe to listen to Caleb, and get him and Trina on the same page.
She also feels Trina and Gabe haven’t been honest with her.
Iyanla suspects Gabe and Trina are hiding something.
So he goes back to the couple to confront them about how Caleb is enraged.
“You chasing fame and you chasing a**. And these two boys are living on their own.” – Iyanla
However, Trina and Gabe are shocked about this.
This act of denial angers Iyanla very much.
“This angers me so much, that if I could just whack you right up the side of your head, I’d do it.” – Iyanla
Despite this, Gabe and Trina double down on not knowing how Caleb feels. Trina says she’s not dismissing his feelings, and Iyanla replied, “Caleb shut down his feelings.”
Iyanla then says Caleb doesn’t want to have a relationship with Gabe. In fact, she revealed that Caleb didn’t get any emotional support from Gabe.
During this conversation, Iyanla suspects Gabe is holding something back.
Gabe reveals abuse suffered while married to Trina.
The next day, Iyanla starts their second day by having a off-camera conversation with Gabe. She thinks he’s been abused. He reveals he’s been physically and verbally abused by Trina. This abuse was a pattern of what he dealt with as a child.
Iyanla then has Gabe meet with Trina so he can express his anger. He tells her that he was hurt by Trina and is angry.
“You became like an enemy to me, and it reminded me of my whole life.” – Gabs
He also says he felt small and was never good enough. Afterwards, Iyanla excuses Gabe.
Once he leaves, Trina says she feels sad.
“How could you be with someone and not know?” – Trina
She says he put her in a position to take care of the entire household. Iyanla says she learned that behavior from her parents.
“I so believe your interaction with Gabe is a function of what you saw… I’m sure your mother might be shocked and horrified to hear how she taught you to be mean and bitter as a woman.” – Iyanla
Lastly, Iyanla says Trina is stuck in a pattern of denial to protect her public image.
Trina begins to cry and then walk off. Iyanla goes to find her in another room. When things calm down, Trina and Gabe return.
Trina says she recognizes it and her behavior was learned from her childhood. She also notices that Caleb feels the same way as Gabe. Trina finally apologizes to Gabe for her behavior.
Gabe also apologizes to Trina for his behavior and not telling her how he really felt.
Caleb and Gabe apologize to one another.
Afterwards, Iyanla has Caleb and Gabe to have a conversation. Caleb tells Gabe he feels angry because he feels neglected by him. Gabe actually acknowledges how Caleb feels.
“I didn’t know how to be a father.” – Gabe
Next, Gabe tells Caleb he loves him and he’s sorry he failed him, and disrespected Trina.
For their final meeting, Iyanla brings Gabe and Trina together so they can set boundaries. Trina says she needs to do a better job in talking to people, not at people.
Iyanla tells them next, that they shouldn’t beat themselves up for not knowing how to do something they weren’t taught. She also tells them that they need a break from each other.
She asks them what boundary needs to be in place. Gabe says they shouldn’t have s*x, and Trina says they shouldn’t share intimate details of their personal relationships.
Overall, Iyanla feels good about what they have to do.
Lastly, Iyanla brings Caleb and Eric, and Caleb says he is open to a relationship with Gabe.
What are your thoughts on the episode?
Leave it to Iyanla to always tell the truth.
Another broken n-gro trying to fix their inner issues by marrying/dating a white person, only to find out you’re still broken.