Iyanla learns the extent and longevity of Jason’s infidelity.
“I think I enabled the behavior by not leaving the first time.” – Brandi
Iyanla welcomes Brandi and Jason to the compound. Brandi’s seeking help in their marriage. She says she doesn’t trust Jason. Jason says that’s because he isn’t loyal, violating his marital vows.
They’ve been together for 17 years. When they first got together in high school, he had another girlfriend Brandi didn’t know about.
Iyanla stops and gets band aids to put on her, signifying the hurt Brandi felt in the beginning. Each time Brandi says something, Brandi gets a bandage put on her.
During the conversation, she says she stayed with him after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
“Not mentally able to understand marriage.” – Jason
It’s revealed Jason never saw his father and Iyanla suspects that’s a major reason why he’s been straying. When Jason says he’s been unfaithful with many women in their marriage, Iyanla ties a bandage around Brandi’s right leg.
She then thanks Jason for opening up and being vulnerable.
Iyanla hopes Brandi and Jason can rebuild their marriage but it will be a challenge.
Next, Iyanla sits with Jason. Iyanla tells Jason he’s never given himself a chance to acknowledge his “sadness.”
“I have a hard time understanding how you look yourself in the mirror knowing what you’ve done to your wife?” – Iyanla
Jason begins to break down when he reveals what his father went through, dealing with his wife’s passing. He doesn’t want to lose her due to his behavior.
Iyanla asks about the first woman he cheated with and it was someone he met in a club the night before their wedding. He’s then asked if he’s a s*x addict. He says he slept with 341 women.
He’s done that so many times because he was looking for pleasure at first. Now he says he’s looking to escape from something.
Iyanla tells Jason she believes who he is came from his mother, low-key blaming his mom for the behavior.
“The only way he feels alive is through the engagement of Mr. P*nis.” – Iyanla
Iyanla pieces together Brandi and Jason’s past, discovering family trauma.
Next, Iyanla meets with Brandi, tying her up with even more bandages. Brandi says she’s afraid of losing him.
“He threw you away already baby. This is going to get worse by the minute.” – Iyanla
When he cheated the first time, she forgave him and hoped he would change himself for the better.
“You are raising somebody’s son and somebody’s father.” – Iyanla
Brandi has her own parental troubles because she never knew who her father really was. The man who raised her was abusive towards Brandi’s mom, conditioning her to stay with a man like Jason.
Brandi’s mom gave birth to her when she was just 18.
After her conversation with Brandi and Jason, Iyanla meets with their mothers. Patricia is Jason’s mother and Terri is Brandi’s mother. Terri says Jason’s been cheating on Brandi since they were kids. Iyanla tells them both that they are projecting issues they’ve developed growing up due to how they acted in their own relationships.
Iyanla brings up how she knew the men that raised her weren’t her biological father. Patricia learned from her grandson that they were having issues.
She then revealed that she and Jason’s father weren’t together growing up.
Terri then reveals she didn’t find out who Brandi’s biological father was until Brandi was 28.
Iyanla says these pasts demonstrate the chaos Brandi and Jason learned as children. Her eyes open when Terri says he hopes Jason would control his drinking and Brandi kept Jason away from Patricia.
Patricia confirms this, but she barred Jason from seeing her.
“You are his lifeline… There’s a problem there.” – Iyanla
Brandi learns that Jason’s cheating is much worse than she thought.
Afterwards, Iyanla meets with Brandi and Jason and asks Brandi if Jason has a drinking problem.
Jason says he doesn’t and Iyanla brings up their parents think he does. He drinks four beers a day.
Then the topic of the number of women Jason slept with while being married is discussed.
“It’s more than 50.” – Iyanla
Jason says this is true and Brandi begins to break down. She runs off from the set and heads into a room. Iyanla heads to the room Brandi’s in. Brandi’s crying and Iyanla consoles her.
“Honestly, what I am saying to my self is, ‘I’m dumb as h***’.” – Brandi
Iyanla gets Brandi to understand there’s something inside her that would attract a broken man such as Jason. Afterwards, Iyanla sits with Jason and he begins to cry.
“You need a mama hug. You’ve been on that court, throwing that ball around way too long by yourself.” – Iyanla
She tells Jason that every time he’s with another woman or takes another drink, he abandons himself.
“It ain’t about [Brandi], it’s about you.” – Iyanla
She gives them both homework to prepare for an intense second day together with her.
Iyanla coaches Brandi through a tough conversation about Jason’s drinking
The next day, Iyanla meets with Jason first. Jason had a rough night and he’s opening up about his feelings towards his grandfather. Brandi and his grandfather’s new wife had a falling out.
Iyanla suspects Brandi’s using Jason’s guilt for the infidelity as a way to control him. She’s going to set up a “safe space” for Jason to express himself to Brandi.
Iyanla goes to Brandi next, and Brandi’s still hopeful he can push through his troubles. She brings up that he can’t see his grandfather. Brandi refutes this and says their son can’t go with Jason to see his grandfather.
Brandi’s emasculating Jason by telling Jason that her son can’t go with him. Brandi doesn’t think he can trust Jason with their son by himself due to his drinking.
Iyanla gives Brandi some stern advice, letting her know that Brandi can’t help him if he can’t trust him, specifically about their son.
“Think higher of him and let his desire to want to be better guide him to where he needs to be.” – Iyanla
Things get a little bit testy with Brandi and Iyanla, so to resolve everything, Iyanla brings Brandi together with Jason. Jason tells Brandi he feels, “less than a man.”
Jason tells Brandi she hurt him with the way she controls him, punishing him verbally with threats. Iyanla gets Brandi to understand that she’s not listening to him.
Jason also reveals Brandi talks down to him in front of their son. Speaking of their son, Brandi says because of his drinking problem, she’s not comfortable with him taking their son to Arkansas. She also gets Jason to understand he needs to get help with his drinking issue.
After the show, Jason and Brandi continue to work on their marriage, recently celebrating their 9-year anniversary.
What are your thoughts of the episode?
