By: Amanda Anderson
When I reflect back on all of my past relationships, and those dreadful, and so very painful break-ups; it always felt as if I was the only one that walked away with the most damage. Like most women, splits are ultra dramatic and emotionally draining to say the very least. And what always seemed to make break-ups harder for me was my belief that the men always seemed to walk away virtually scar-less. They didn’t leave with so much as a scratch, and somehow I became an emotional wreck.
Ladies, I know you agree when I say that healing process just does not seem fair. What takes us months or even years to heal from, seems like it only takes men a couple of weeks to surpass. What began as a genuine love affair would crash and burn, but from the looks of things, I was the only one that walked away from a battle I never really had a shot at winning in the first place.
At least this is how I remember the whole break-up thing. But according to a recent study, we have gotten it all wrong.
A new study concludes that men suffer more hurt than women when a relationship ends.
The study was conducted by researchers at Wake Forest University, and the findings indicate that romantic relationships have a greater impact on the mental health of men than of young women if they end badly.
So how can this be when men seems so…insensitive?
One factor is the difference between the coping mechanisms of men and women. Sure, women do tend to drag out the healing process until we are no longer healing, but torturing ourselves; but we still manage to cope better than men according to the research.
As women, we are expected to be emotional about a break-up. And since that is the understanding among society, we will have many shoulders to lean on at the expense of friends and family.
Men usually aren’t so lucky. Most men aren’t even comfortable with the idea of discussing break-ups with their homies. And who can really blame them? Society has created those pretty ridiculous “Man Laws,” and it’s forbidden for a man to discuss his feelings with another man without getting the side eye. When manhood is at stake, most men opt to suffer alone.
And most men consider their significant others to be their best outlet to talk emotions. So when the relationship ends, men tend to lose that very person they felt comfortable enough to open up to. This leads to some pretty big problems.
Unlike women, men are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol as a means to mask the pain of a break-up. It is not uncommon for men to develop an addiction to some form of drugs and even alcohol.
So while women are turning to their girlfriends and family for support, most men are turning to some addictive substance of some sort.
Even though it may appear that your ex is past you and your failed relationship, remember that he surely isn’t made of steel like he would want you to believe. Just like people with vaginas, they too hurt and must find a way to cope with the pain. They just can’t tell you that because it’s against the “Man Laws.”
But doesn’t it feel good to know that they suffer too? I think we deserve to boast a little…
Women 1…Men 0.
But who’s really keeping count?