Forget My Friends, I Got A Man Now

Do you leave your friends hanging when you find a man?

By: Taren Vaughan

Good men come a dime a dozen is what most of us have come to believe. The good men shortage theory has been embedded in the minds of women of all races; yeah, it’s not just us sisters who are feeling this way. So when a woman finds a man that has himself together and she is compatible with, she makes sure that she does what she can to make things work. She may cook a little more than she used to or even shell out some cash to add a few more fabulous items to her wardrobe. Some women get so sprung on their new guys that they ditch some of her closest girlfriends for a people that they have known for all of five minutes.

Dropping your friends like a bad habit is a common act of a woman who has fallen head over hills for a new man. Did I say “new man”? Correction, friends can get kicked to the curb for ex flames too. Friends can get shown the door for the new and the old. It works both ways. Going out with the girls becomes a thing of the past. And all of your free time is devoted to your male companion. Your friends begin to call you out, saying that you are acting brand new because you have a man on your arm now. What is your response to them? “Oh they’re just jealous”.

Actually my dear, it’s not that your friends are hating on you and your man’s relationship. That’s always the first thing that people say when their friends mention the lack of time that you spend with them. A lot of times, your friends are happy that you have found your match, especially if you are one of those women who have been through a string of bad relationships. But that doesn’t mean that they want to be completely put on the back burner for a dude, regardless of the amount of time that you have known him.

The biggest question here is what happens when your love fest with this man comes to an end? And he leaves you high and dry? Who will you run to then? Surely not the same group of females that you left hanging when he was in the picture. Fact of the matter is those are probably the very first people that you will go crying to after it’s all over. For those strong, solid friendships, your home girls will be there when this happens. They understand that you were, like Anita Baker would say “caught up in the rapture”, so they aren’t tripping on you too hard. Oh but that’s not always the case for some women; some friends don’t play that and will look at you all sorts of crazy for even thinking that you could come looking for their company and comfort after a break-up.

Don’t let being in a relationship ruin those wonderful friendships that you have established with your girls. Ultimately, they are the ones who have your back when you are single and when you are “with boo”. Just like a good man, good friends too are hard to find. So you best hold on to them. Nobody ever said that you can’t have a man and still keep your friends. You can have both. But totally brushing your friends off for penis is not cool. Get it together.


  1. I think most females do this actually. My friends and I made a pact to remain close despite our love lives, and we have all worked hard to stay true to that. I think it all comes down to maturity. If you're immature, you'll forget about your friends.

  2. Megan,I am glad to hear that you and your friends have such a close bond with each other. And I totally agree with you that it does all boil down to one's maturity level. Mature individuals can handle a relationship and still maintain friendships in the process.

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