She’s Got Her Own, Is That Why She’s Alone?

Can too much independence make a woman less appealing to men?

By: Jason Perry



The days of aprons and poodle skirts are over and no longer are women bound by the chains of sexist oppression. The women of today are lawyers, doctors, engineers and a true force to be reckoned with. The Destiny’s Child hit song Independent Women became an anthem for women everywhere, as women were throwing their hands up and saying goodbye to social and economic submission. As women have become more educated and more successful, their lives have truly become a balancing act, and Ringling Brother’s ain’t got nothin’ on them. Women have historically been the most persuasive people in our human existence, whether it’s for good or for bad, even Cleopatra knew how to get what she wanted. Gone from the laundry room to the board room, the independent woman of today is the living breathing dream of their mothers and grandmothers realized, but at what price?

Although women have made great strides in this “Man’s World,” unfortunately a lot of them are striding alone. Their life has become a series of meetings, nights with the girls and glasses of wine accompanied by expense reports and itemized budgets. Have men seen too much of themselves in the independent women of today, or have these women forgotten how to be the gentle nurturers that men desire? One man I spoke to says,” I need a woman who needs me.” This could be looked as insecurity on his part, but for the woman it could be considered another road back to being seen and not heard. As we all know women are still fighting for equal pay in the workforce, and if love has to take back seat to her success, then to her the fights are well worth it. But for some career queens, love and companionship is a void that success and education cannot fill, so they are in constant search of the man who see past their brief case and listen beyond the clacking of their Red Bottom heels. Searching for a male partner of equal education and success, may be just the power couple recipe the independent woman needs to be successful without remorse.

In any relationship, the word compromise has many definitions, depending on those who try to follow it. For the man who can’t handle being with an independent woman or for that woman who can’t handle being a submissive mate; compromise is the only thing that will save them. No one should have to be less than what they are in order to be loved and respected, whether they are a stay at home dad or female CEO of a Fortune 500 company. But much respect goes to the independent woman, in many cases, she has had to step up and be father and mother of world. I thank that woman for who I am today and for who my children will be as a result of her struggle. She’s got her own and not asking for a loan and if you can’t respect that, then you sir deserve to be alone.


  1. I loved this article! And I think it’s sad that a woman can be too independent for some men. So what are we supposed to do? We have to pay our bills and take care of ourselves when we are single, so it shouldn’t turn a man off. I guess we could twiddle our thumbs and wait to be saved, but we know better.

  2. If a man is insecure, he will have a problem with being with a woman who doesn’t need him. And it sucks that some men are wired that way but I guess women have to find a way to bring balance into the equation.

  3. Very good article. It was definitely something that should be addressed. I look for a woman that is indpendent and a go getter because I am a go getter myself so it’s always good to have someone to compliment you and be beside instead of behind you in reaching your goals. I guess a lot of guys don’t know where they are going sometimes so they are intimidated talking to a women who has goals and direction in her life. To all the independent women out there though, KEEP DOING IT THAT RIGHT GUY WILL FIND YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU…IT MAY TAKE TIME BUT EVERYTHING WORTH HAVING DOES….

  4. I hear this all the time and I don’t think it’s because women are independent. It’s because when you advance and become a business woman or successful in general you are less likely to make the same mistakes or irresponsible decisions most women make in regards to choosing a mate. Any woman can go out and get a man. But to go out and pick a good mate takes time. So the fact that these woman are being smarter in their choices makes them alone…then that’s a good thing. There are men out there who are intimidated by a successful woman and that is no fault to the successful woman but to the male who is insecure in himself. Real men could care less whether their woman is successful because at the end of the day…he knows he is still needed.

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