Truth Teller: Money Isn’t Everything, and it Sure Isn’t Love
“It’s a Man’s world. So I figured I should become like the men and it too would be my world.”
Like many women, I thought I could play the same game men have played for years. I no longer involved my heart in my affairs with men, I kept everything physical. Since my relationships were more physical than emotional, I believed that my heart would never be broken. This was a game and I was playing to win.
I decided that in order to do this, I would only date successful men with lots of money. I loved it at the beginning because they would buy nice expensive things, and take me on expensive trips to places I had never been before.
They bought me expensive clothes, fancy dinners, and I felt like I was living the life. Of course these relationships never lasted because these successful men always had so many women throwing themselves at them. Eventually I got less attention than I originally received, and I would just find another sponsor.
Life was good and my bills stayed paid. I had a beautiful condo and a mortgage that I did not have to pay. What more could a girl ask for?
Things started to change when I met my last sponsor. This man was gorgeous, intelligent, successful, and wealthy. He was young and had his whole life ahead of him. We spent a lot of time together and just like the others, he was very giving. He took care of me and never let me want for anything.
Now I have never been one to let emotions get the best of me. So I did not expect to start in this “relationship.” But I knew this man was different from all the others, he just seemed like the type that you could actually spend the rest of your life with. And here I was, letting him take care of me financially while we had no commitment.
One day he let me hold his credit card and told me to go on a shopping spree. He told me he would be in business meetings all day and that he would call me after he had wrapped things up. I did not ask any questions, I gladly took the credit card and left his beautiful home.
While I was at the mall, it began to sink in on how dumb our relationship was. Sure he spent a lot of money on me, but I began to feel lonely. This man did not hold me at night, he did not hold my hand, he did not offer support when I needed it, and he did not spend much time with me besides late nights when we just had sex. When I woke up in the morning, I would watch him get dressed in his expensive suits. He would leave and I would not see him again until later that night.
Something was missing in my life. Here was this man that spent thousands of dollars on me, but it was the little things that would cost him nothing that started to appeal to me.
I came back from my shopping spree and used the spare key that he gave me to get back into the house. I felt kind of good that he gave me the key, and thought that somehow it meant that I had some kind importance in his life.
And it was then that I walked into the room and caught him having sex with another woman. I was angry and I caused a huge scene…and instantly the other woman became my target. Before I could even get to her, he grabbed me and pulled me out of his bedroom.
He was a completely different man at this moment. He was no longer gentle or kind like he usually was. He screamed at me and demanded to know if I had lost my mind. Although I explained my displeasure in him sleeping with another woman, his response was the one true wake up call that I needed.
I will never forget these words…
“I buy you everything you want. I buy you Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Dolce and Gabbana, and I keep your mortgage paid. I even take you to fancy restaurants and I take you to places you never imagined you would ever go to.
Now if I want to sleep with other women from time to time, I mean I paid for everything you have. As long as I keep you looking good and your bills paid, I don’t owe you anything. You should be happy that I am taking care of you.
You may be worth designer labels and expensive jewelry, but there are millions of women just like you. You are one in the same. You will only see a wealthy man’s chump change…but never an altar.”
My self-respect reappeared and I handed him his key and left. No matter how vicious he was, he was absolutely right.
Sometimes we as women tend to think that materialistic things are the things that will bring us happiness. We seek rich men to buy us the world and we quickly forget what we are really doing. I had basically told this man and previous men, that I could be purchased for designer labels. They could spend thousands on me, and do as they please as long as they kept my bills paid. They would only make time for me when they wanted sex, and they would leave my life whenever they wanted. I might find new sponsors, but the situation was always the same.
It really is the free things in life that are worth more than the expensive things. And although these wealthy men could buy me tangible things, they never wanted to give me the things that mattered. And it was that day that I realized I was worth more than expensive clothes and being some man’s plaything.
And it was after him that I met the love of my life. No he isn’t rich, but he is still a provider for me and our child. He loves me, and saw something in me that the other men didn’t see…a woman who would see the altar. I’m happily married and would have never been if I had not gotten my wake up call.
You may read my story and call me a gold digger. You may even say this won’t happen to you because you know how to keep your emotions in control. But what if you never get your wake up call?
You might end up with plenty of expensive things, but you will still be lonely and not worthy of much more.
Don’t play the game ladies. Find someone who will really love you and give you the things that really matter…because in a man’s eyes, women who want those things are valued the most.
A Woman That Learned Her Worth