Truth Teller: My Boyfriend May Be Ugly, But He Treats Me Good!

One woman gives her anonymous account on dating a man who treats her better than he looks.

I have been in some pretty toxic relationships, and I always ended up with the men who started off perfect in the beginning, but eventually mistreated me so badly that I felt like they had become a totally different person. Relationship after relationship, I was disappointed and heart broken. Like most women, I had almost given up. I shut down from men and prospective relationships, and had no real interest in getting to know someone and getting involved in a serious relationship. At that point of my life, I just didn’t see the point.

Sometimes I think a woman’s exhaustion of men must be sexy or something, because it seems like most men approach you when you’re absolutely fed up. It could just be my experience, but this nuisance was growing out of control for a woman who had no interest or any desire to be boo’d up with anyone.

I had a type and that’s usually who approached me. I have always been a sucker for tall, beautiful men, who were charming, and usually ladies men. I now know that maybe that was my problem, but at the time, I wasn’t so sure.

While I was in my usually man hating mood, I was out one night with friends, when a lesser attractive man approached me, interested in starting some great conversation. I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind, but he smiled, and introduced himself anyway.

I thought about telling him to kick rocks, but the way he had approached me was very different. There were no lines, he didn’t even offer to buy me a drink; but instead, he introduced himself and wanted to talk. I hesitated, but felt comfortable due to his demeanor. I figured if he was a complete idiot, I could just fake a stomach ache and go home.

But to my surprise, he was extremely intelligent, charming, and interesting. He wasn’t a 10 by any stretch, but he able to make me forget about every other man that was there that night.We exchanged numbers, and began to hang out.

Dates followed, and I eventually began to really like this man. However, I was vain, and I cared what my girls thought. I didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t a head turner, and I didn’t want to be judged for who I was with.

I tried to prolong getting serious, but eventually, my feelings triumphed. We began a relationship, and for once, I was with a man who put my needs in front of his. It was weird at first, as nice guys are so very different from what we know and usually date, so it took me a while to understand that he was just that type of man. It wasn’t an act, that was his true character.

And even 6 months down the line, he was still the same. He would always call me when he said he was going to, taking me out to places that he thought I would love, cooking dinner when I didn’t feel like it, and he keeps me intrigued through conversation due to his wit and intelligence. No he wasn’t fine by any stretch, but he made me happier than I had ever been.

When we began to be intimate, I expected the sex to be bad since I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been with the men in my past. But when I say that it was good, it was good! It’s not because he was so incredibly endowed, but he was patient and took the time to learn my body, and respond to what I liked. And by doing that, I was sexually fulfilled. He still pleases me to this very day because it has never been and will never be about his ego, but making me happy in the bedroom.

My girls cracked jokes in the beginning because I had “downgraded” according to them. But any real woman could tell by the way that he was treating me that I had actually upgraded. I was happy while their fine ass boyfriends treated them like trash, cheated on them, and would give them lack luster intimacy. Meanwhile, my little “downgrade” was cooking me dinner, loving me unconditionally and supportive in everything I was doing.

Now I know that you will say that the lesser attractive men can be horrible too, but that’s not why I am writing this. I am writing this because there are many women who are just like how I used to be; looking for fine ass men, that look perfect, but only end up breaking your heart later. You’ll keep chasing after these same men, and keep getting mistreated. You may pass up the better man because he’s isn’t tall and fine, with a big old ding a ling.

But honestly, it’s not about how a man looks, how tall he is, or if every other woman in the room wants to be with him. It’s about how he treats you!

I’m happy because I met a man who treats me good all the time. We don’t have good months or good weeks, but instead we are continuously working on our relationship. He’s committed to me and I’m committed to him. And the commitment shows in our actions.

Every woman deserves a man that keeps his promises, and can give you what you need. That man could possibly be the most gorgeous man in the room, but if he isn’t, don’t turn him down because he’s not attractive according to society’s standards…because most of society doesn’t know a damn thing about how to treat someone. That’s evident in how awful we treat each now in our communities. And in the end, how he treats you is the only thing that matters.

Good luck to you all,


One Happy Woman

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  1. This is real and totally appreciated. We live in a society that focuses more on looks and materials instead of character. And that's why more than half of marriages end in divorce, and so many people have no clue how to be in relationships. This woman got played by her friends, but she did the right thing, and ended up happy in the end. That's what it's all about.

  2. It sounds exactly like my life. And to be honest the good looking guys I dated now are fed up of their marriages and don't miss a chance to flirt with other girls and treat their women like trash while my boyfriend has made me happier than I could ever imagine. We haven't met each other for last one year as I moved to US but I never feel need of another relationship he gives me a lot of time even if it's on skype.

  3. WOW I’m so glad I found this story, because it fits my situation so well. Thanks for sharing. It truly helped. Even the well endowed statement fits me, (no pun intended lol ) 🙂 It truly makes me think about what’s best for me and being treated like the queen I am speaks volumes!!

  4. I can truly empathize with this article. I love my boyfriend so much and I would have to say that objectively speaking, he is also not a 10 but boy am I attracted to him and our chemistry is just out of this world! A pretty face and a hot body do not matter if you don’t have any chemistry with a guy.

  5. I too am with a less than attractive male. He has a lazy eye, undesirable teeth and is much smaller than me. People look at me strange when we are together like they dont know why I’m with him. The truth is he stole my heart. Even with all his physical n financial flaws, I’ve never had such chemistry in a relationship before. We exposed ourselves and I do mean our souls completely and honestly even when it hurts. And lawd hammercy the sex is PHENOMENAL!!! So I’ve learned that in the end what truly matters is a person’s character because looks fade n circumstances can change but honesty, loyalty and a feeling of true togetherness is valuable and rare.

  6. How can I get over being so vain? I feel like a terrible person because here is this amazing man who has never intentionally wronged me, who always treats me so well, and whom I have always had AMAZING chemistry with. I’ve never had such great and flawless chemistry with someone. But I can’t get over how ugly he is. He looks like a Neanderthal. It bugs me when he ‘jokes’ about how good looking he is because he really isn’t. Another issue is his financial state (no, I’m not a gold digger.) He’s nearing 30 and living with his mom, doesn’t have (and hasn’t had) a job and has never followed through with school.

    Maybe my issue is that he’s ugly and unreliable in the sense of having a stable future? I don’t know. But how can I stop being so vain?

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