Instant Access: Are You Too Available To Your Man?

Do you think your man will drop his plans for you like you do for him?

By: Taren Vaughan

Picture this…Your man randomly calls you up and tells you that he has an exciting evening planned for just the two of you. Never revealing where you two are going, he just tells you to put on something really nice and to get ready. The only piece of information that he gives you is what time he will be at your place to pick you up. After hearing about what your evening is going to hold, you scrabble through your closet to find the flyest dress that you own and those delicious pair of stilettos that you’ve been dying to break in. Hair is fabulous, make-up is on point; you are in straight diva mode and no one can tell you otherwise. Sounds like a familiar scene to most of us right?

After taking hours to get yourself ready for the night, you suddenly get that infamous phone call. And guess who it is on the other end? It’s your man, telling you that he can’t make it tonight and that you’ll have to reschedule your outing for another time. If only he could see the screw face that you are giving him through the phone. Pissed as hell, you simply say “Okay, maybe another night” and leave it at that. The next weekend rolls around and “Mr. Romance” is back at it again, pulling the same “Let’s go out tonight” line again only for him to fall short once again on his promises to you. Is he really that inconsiderate? Or is it that he thinks you have absolutely nothing better to do with your life than to sit around and wait on him?

As much as we may hate to admit it, some of us make ourselves way too available to our men. As soon as the phone rings and he asks you to go somewhere, you drop everything that you are doing for him. Forget about the promise that you made your friend last week about going with her to a family reunion. And totally dismiss the fact that you and your sister were supposed to go out for drinks later on that night.

Did that phone call from your man make you forget all of the things you had planned before you heard his voice? Now do you think he would do the same for you? Drop his plans with his friends just because you have a sudden urge to go out to dinner? Ha, wishful thinking my dear. Hell will freeze over before he would even think about doing something like that.

For some strange reason, these men folk think that we are just sitting by the phone, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for their calls before we make any sudden moves. Okay, well maybe that is the case for some of us. But even if that is what you are doing, by all means don’t let him know that. Find something better to do with your time. Better yet, get a life, literally. I’m sure there are plenty of things that you could be doing with your time. Plan a girls’ night out with your friends or spend some time with your family. Whatever you do, don’t sit around waiting on him, especially if he is notorious for canceling on you all the time. Your accessibility should be limited if know for a fact that your man never comes through with what he says he is going to do.

I’m sure many of us have had this happen quite a few times and probably felt some type way about it too. But that’s what having back up plans is for. So when he does do the predictable and leaves you hanging after agreeing to spend some time with you, you will have something to do with all that free time on your hands. So the next time your man tries to wine and dine you at the very last minute, tell him you already have things to do. And your plans won’t be changing for him because regardless of what he may think, your time is just as precious as his.

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