If you’re single and looking, here are the qualities you should look for in a potential partner.
By: Amanda Anderson
It’s not easy being a single woman and looking. As a society, we treat relationships like a game seeking only the upper hand versus a partnership, we can’t stay married long enough to put our vows into motion, and even though we all say we’re looking for love; most of us don’t know anything about love, since lust has become inbred in our dating practices. While it isn’t necessarily easy finding the right person, it’s so often that we focus on the wrong qualities. Yes, we look for the wrong qualities, which in essence, always leads us to the wrong men. So many women wonder what’s the secret to landing a good man? It’s simple actually. We have to change our entire outlook on what a good man is, and what qualities he should possess. We also have to make sure we understand the importance of character. A man’s character is telling of the potential relationship you will ultimately have with him. Not his bank account or his penis size…his character.
While all good men don’t look the same, dress the same, or have the same type of career or educational background; they do all have great character. That is no coincidence.
Now will a good man be perfect? No. But are you perfect?
See where I’m going with this?
So it’s been established that we should look for great character. So what are the qualities of good character and what are the qualities you should be looking for in a man?
1. He does what he says he is going to do.
Seems like common sense doesn’t it? Well that doesn’t take away the fact that most women tend to waste most of their time with men who don’t know how to keep their word.
Now you know the guy who never keeps his promises. He says he’ll call you back, but doesn’t. He’ll blame stress from the job as a reason he lies and breaks promises, and you never know when he will actually take you out to dinner like he promised two months ago. You stick around because he’s educated, has a great career. attractive, and he seems like a catch.
But this man can’t even be counted on. So just how is he a catch? That college degree, nice job, and gorgeous physique doesn’t change the fact that he’s a liar. And liars are the absolute worst to date.
Try marrying one.
The guy who keeps his promises, now he usually gets a bad rep from women. Why? Because he’s the predictable and boring nice guy. But have you ever spoken to the women who actually have enough wisdom to date these guys and marry them?
You’d actually find out they are pretty happy. They have a man that keeps his word and there’s no guessing work required. It always feels good to have a man that calls you when he said he would. Or the one who takes you to the restaurant he promised he would. Oh, and he’s faithful, because he said he would be.
Boring guys don’t seem too bad anymore do they?
2. His ego doesn’t come before you.
Beyonce might have made a song praising some dude’s big ego, but the truth is, these are the worst dudes to date, and they aren’t really praiseworthy. Everything will be a struggle with the man who can’t manage to get over himself. It doesn’t matter if you’re happy, as long as he has the upper hand.
Can we stay, bullheaded bastard?
You’ll never be happy with this dude because the whole relationship is all about him. It’s actually like you’re dating…no one. It’s lonely when you’re the only one working in a relationship, and the only one not reaping the benefits from your own labor.
But a humble brother, oh pleasing you is the most important thing to him. In fact, his whole relationship theory is a happy woman is a pleased woman. He’s not too arrogant to oversee satisfying you. And the best thing about dating a humble brother dedicated to your happiness is it’s almost always contagious to a good woman. Since you’re happy, you’ll spend just as much time trying to keep him happy too.
If there’s no hint of humility in a man, don’t waste your time, because trust me, that’s the only outcome with an arrogant and selfish man.
3. He believes in commitment, and views it as an essential to a relationship.
Sometimes the quickest way to discover rather a man is worth our time or not is to talk to him about his views on commitment. If he talks negative about commitment, and especially marriage, he’s got too many issues to be worthwhile.
Keep it moving if you get the vibe commitment doesn’t thrill him too much.
But if he demonstrates he understands it and believes in it, make sure his actions match his talk.
In the first few months, a committed man and a not so committed man will reveal themselves. Be patient, and move accordingly. Too many female friends and an itch for the nightclubs aren’t good signs.
4. He’s a full believer of the Golden Rule.
Here’s that good character showing itself again.
If a man believes in treating people how he wants to be treated, most likely, he’s a good man. And I’m not just talking about how he treats you. I’m referring to how he treats everyone.
Does he have a genuine concern for other people? How does he view women?
Is he always conscious about what he says and does to others, or is it every man for themselves?
If you discover he believes in doing right by all, and his actions reflect this, he may be a keeper.
5. He’s not quick to anger and has plenty of patience.
Women are born over emotional and ridiculously sensitive.
We honestly need men who understand that, not fight against it. It’s nothing worse than dating a guy who believes in arguing just as much as you do. A relationship needs a balance, so someone has to have a little more patience. Who better than your man?
If a man exhibits those overly sensitive female tendencies such as the following:
love of arguing, screaming and yelling, hostility, and a dramatic flair…
don’t expect that relationship to go far. Some will say I’m stuck on gender stereotypes, but actually, I’m stuck on common sense and a case of been there, done that. Women don’t fair well with men who behave like… women.
6. A solid friendship, your man should be another best friend.
Friendship is always the gatekeeper to love. Many attempt to have love before friendship, and every single time they miss out a solid chance at establishing a solid foundation that must exist in order to even have love. If you’re not able to see your man or potential as a genuine friend before a lover, then you can’t expect it to grow and become anything long term.
The couples who view their significant others as best friends understand the importance of a foundation. Always build your relationship off a solid surface, or expect it to fall.
7. He’s ambitious, with his sights focused on becoming better in many areas of his life.
Is he trying to go somewhere in life, or has he settled for the art of standing still? It’s not necessarily about a man’s bank account, but ambition for life means he’ll have the drive to always strive to become better. And that’s truly the best man to date.
8. He has a genuine relationship with God.
This may be last on the list, but it’s the most important one on this list. A man who not only knows but fears God, knows how to love a woman. Ya’ll keep concerning yourselves with how much money a man makes and how big his penis is, but ya’ll need to be concerned with his relationship with the Most High.
A man’s relationship with God ALWAYS determines his character and how he will treat YOU. If he’s not serious about God, then he won’t be serious about you.
There’s a lot of wolves in sheep’s clothing screaming from a rooftop that they love God. But does their lifestyle reflect that?
A man that loves God also understands what love is. This is the kind of man that loves you beyond the physical, so he doesn’t want you to jeopardize your spiritual to lust for him. Many women think a man like this is a myth, but he is indeed very real. You just don’t know how to discern him from the others. When you meet a man like this, know that it is purely the power of God manifesting in your life.
And this kind of man is most certainly a keeper. In fact, a man of God will embody every single thing mentioned previously on this list. He’s the cream of the crop, so make sure that his spiritual authenticity is the first thing you look for.
Look for these things, and you’ll be able to discern the duds from the one.