By: Amanda Anderson-Niles
Iyanla Vanzant is without a doubt one of the bright spots of Oprah Winfrey’s Network OWN, and her show “Iyanla: Fix My Life” is a certified hit for the network. Although Iyanla is in the business of trying to fix lives and mend broken hearts, she’s been accused of causing more trouble in the lives of some of her former clients. Notably, rapper DMX claimed she ruined his life after his sit down with the self-help guru turned sour, but his son came to Iyanla’s defense and claimed the rapper is responsible for his own issues. Well it looks as if Iyanla is now shifting her focus to women of color as she had a few words for all black women in her recent interview with Madam Noire.
Iyanla called black women out for a number of things, but in particular seems to think we need to do a better job of picking men and stop having children with the wrong men. In fact, she sums it all up by saying black women are “out of order”:
“We have such a rich culture, as women in this country, descendants of the parent race of humanity. We have such a rich culture, and in that culture, there are roles and purposes, and powers, and we live in a society now where women are commodities, where women are demeaned, diminished, demoralized in ways that we accommodate. And if we really understood who we are as feminine representations of the creator of the universe, some of the things we experience in life, like crying when the unemployed boo boo leaves us, and we really understood who we are, we wouldn’t be so apt to let other people define us, and confine us. We are out of order!
“We’re out of order — let me just go right ahead and say it, let me just ask forgiveness now. There’s no reason for us to continue to have children with men who don’t honor us and don’t take care of their children. Out of order!”
Iyanla then goes on to tell the website black women are lacking a sense of sisterhood and betraying and defiling one another.
What do you think about Iyanla’s comments? Truth, tough love or ridiculous? Check out the video below and leave your thoughts in the comment section.
Umm I’m trying to understand why people keep acting like the black race is a monolithic one. Not every black person or black woman is the same.
I’m not saying she’s completely wrong but we have to make sure we understand not all black women have these kinds of issues. I mean damn. LOL.
Oh whatever. We talk so much about the so called “damaged” black women that we don’t even commend the ones doing well enough. I’m tired of it.
I do think more of us need to value ourselves and pick better men.
I’m so tired of people telling us what’s wrong with us. Can we get more praise when we are doing good? *rolls eyes*
Oh well thanks for telling us how to fix our lives Ms. Know It All. I’m finally healed! *ends sarcasm*
Whatever! I get so tired of people acting black women are doomed!
Moments like this, I get mad at Oprah for brining Iyanla back to relevancy.
Actually, I think women as a whole (black, white, latino, etc.) need to do better. Black women aren’t the only ones who pick the wrong men or struggle with low self esteem. I guess pretending like we are the only ones who deal with this just makes for a better interview though.
I don’t care what Iyanla thinks!
I love yall lol
What has Iyanla even accomplished besides that janky show on OWN? Does she have a man? Happily married? Business owner? She seems to know all the answers but her personal life is full of crickets.
I’m sleep tho…wake me up when Michelle Obama starts giving advice.
But the thing is the issues that she is bringing up is not just black women issues they are women issues. Case in point I have a white girlfriend who supports her unemployed boyfriend has 2 kids and with this loser who doesn’t think she can do any better and refuses to leave him. Stop making it seem like black women are the only statistic of this type of behavior.
I agree with the majority of these comments. Black women are not monolithic. There are some good and some bad in every group of individuals. The key word being ‘individuals’. I think that it does more harm than good to lump all black women into one box.
I agree with her! A lot of us are doing quite well, with none of these issues. However, the ones you keep hearing about aren’t – and those are the ones that others are using to define us. It’s a shame that everyone one is being lumped into the same category, but till we as a race, and as women start to do better, that generalization will continue to happen.
NOT an Iyanla fan. She should know better than to make reckless comments like that. There are specific personalities that fall in the categories she’s yakking about. Certainly not ALL or even the majority of Black women. Somebody needs to fix her life.
I agree with 15.julyol1972. I too am an educated black woman that started out a statistic, having my first child when I was 17. However, I turned my negative into something that motivated me not what defined me. I worked for the same company for 14 years, bought my first home, and got several degrees while I was a single mother. Once I had my second child, my first child was 16 and then I got married to someone with the same goals as me. Unfortunately, I know of plenty of co workers, family and even friends who are stuck in this continous negative cycle. And when you are not bothered with them because of the same old, same old, they become upset and say things like you think you are better than them. No I dont want to hear you went to the club, got pissy drunk, didnt go to work now you are angry because you no longer have a job. Or cant pay your light bill! The thing is yes its a generalization for all black woman but when the media does not define the people like me due to people like them…yes she is correct on this one!!!!! Sad but true. If you dont agree…turn on the tv……..basketball wives, love and hip hop, do I need to continue?