Step Your Cookies Up: Is That All You Have to Offer?

Why is it that some women only have sex to offer?

By: Amanda Anderson

As Nicki Minaj’s popularity continues to increase due a series of Billboard hits and an animated image that has given her legions of young fans, there is an ugly side to the Barbie Movement that has young women and grown women alike saying the most idiotic phrases I’ve heard in a very long time. The Head Barbie has made it clear that she is making strides in music on behalf of all women, yet she has coined some of the most derogatory phrases I’ve ever heard leave the tongues of educated young sisters. She may be showing the male rappers that female emcees can top the charts and still be sexy, but she’s simultaneously telling fans that the true power still lies in their vaginas. When she should be telling them to work hard, be strong, and break barriers that weren’t meant to be broken by women (as she has done); she’s settled for telling them to step their cookies up. In a time where feminists want equality and the same opportunity to make history as our male counterparts, Minaj and company would rather get ahead because of their juicy vaginas.

And any woman who disagrees with their take on how to obtain success is merely hating and needs to step their sex game up. While I’m prepared to get through the obstacles of life with intelligence, wisdom, dignity, and hard work; these ladies would rather rely on skimpy outfits, giving great blow jobs, and a sex game that would put even the most notorious prostitute to shame. I wonder as a concerned black woman who only wants us to get past being Aunt Jemima’s and big booty sex kittens, why is good sex all these women have to offer?

To blame Nicki Minaj on the popularity of such an ignorant ode to blatant bobble headness is too easy, and I instead point fingers to those who have taken the phrase and engraved it to their souls. You may not have sold your souls to the devil, but you surely don’t own it when you aren’t capable of seeing past such hypocritical illusions orchestrated by music executives, who see women merely as cash cows and sex slaves willing to exploit their sexuality to get ahead temporarily.

It’s as if some women are under severe mind control and have traded in their dignity to imitate one of the lowest forms of popular culture.

Now I’m not trying to bash Minaj or her barbie doll fans, but I am trying to shine a light on the ignorance that I can’t even escape on the Social Networks. Once my timeline became flooded with pretty but substance-less chicks who complain about their haters, and a couple tweets later suggest they step their cookies up; I realized that I could sit back no longer and accept the foolishness. It’s one thing for a 15 year old to be a little black girl lost and emulate what she sees praised in popular culture–but as a grown woman, if this ideology describes your current mentality, somewhere down the line the wires got crossed between self-respect and a dependency to fit in amongst fools.

Ladies, you have to get to the point where you understand what you think and say about yourself is a clear indication to others of your true self-worth. While many of you opt for a college degree and great paying careers–the moment ignorance flies out of your mouth, your intelligence is fair game.
How does it sound to tell any woman to step her cookies up to get on your level?

Why not step up her grades, her list of academic achievements, her relationship with God, her intellect or even her self-respect to get on your level?

Why is it as easy as good sex and mind blowing orgasms to get to the level that you are currently on?

I’m asking any woman or young lady who has ever used this term to look closely at themselves and reevaluate rather you have more to offer. Because if all you have to offer men is good sex, my dear, you may be the one who has stepping up to do.


  1. Amen! I can't stand it when they say that mess. And it's usually the prettiest chicks too. They just have no idea how ignorant they sound.

  2. Awesome points, but we all know this will go right over the heads of those that need this message the most. I swear these females will follow Nicki Minaj right off a cliff.

  3. OMG I so agree with this! I feel like this is very inspirational and was way past due to be stated. I have tried on countless occasions to get this same point across to my friends but because Im young they feel as if I should agree and follow along with her movement or Im hating. But, that is so not the case! The fact of the matter is that I think about my future before I make moves for today. I ask myself will this in any shape, form, or fashion, effect my future or the way people view me? Imitating the mindless acts of certain celebrities will not get me the respect I desire and expect from people. Yes, TODAY we might be young but I have seen many incidents where the things of the past has come to threaten the present and possible future. Dressing or acting a certain way because you think it will get you attention or because its popular will do nothing but bring you the wrong type popularity and attention. It sometimes upsets me that so many great women have worked so hard in life to break down barriers and make strides for not only women but BLACK women and young girls just allow their self-respect and dignity to be thrown out the window all for approval from another human! Id rather be known for what positive things Ive done than for what negative things Ive done or worn. I just really wish some of the ladies in my generation would open their eyes and realize that life is not all about the now and even if it was NOW you should want to be respected and viewed as someone who has business and class about themselves not someone who is only known for "good sex" and what not!

  4. Sadly, some women DO only have sex to offer. And as a man, I think it's crazy that women have become so easy because they think that's what we want. It's what we want for a quick second, definitely not long term. Yall be playing yourselves…It took me a long time to find my girl, and she was a challenge.

  5. Mike I loved your posts on the other article, you have a lot of knowledge. It's refreshing to see a man with a good head on his shoulders.Back on topic, I do think a lot of young girls and young women don't really understand how dangerous this mentality is. It may work for Nicki Minaj, but not for the average chick. If you're not getting paid millions to be an airhead with a tight sex game, you might need to find a better phrase.

  6. Hmmm, I've shielded myself from certain areas of the music industry, so I'm out of the loop on the "step your cookies up" phrase, but I can only imagine what it's in reference to. I definitely agree with this article, and wondered how many educated, dignified, and mature women were actually out there after seeing "grown women" holding up their "5" in the air to Yo Gott's "5 star b*&^%." I wondered… this really what we've evolved in to? I also agree that it's too easy to pin this all on Nicki because that type of mentality doesn't just occur overnight. I find it strange that women associated with the "barbie movement" fit in….to stand out. Senseless…. MAJOR work needs to be done in the minds of our people.

  7. When will the day come when women won't be defined by or judged for their sex? Some women have the idea of feminism all wrong. It's not about emulating men or mindlessly having sex, like some men do. It's about celebrating our femininity and finding our strength & equal footing separate from our vaginas. It's about having control of our bodies and minds separate of what society dictates. It's ok to enjoy sex and be sexual, but not when your entire worth as a person is only based on that one facet of yourself. Intellectual prowess, self respect and self sufficiency will lead us in the right direction.

  8. @ Anon 7:13Eloquently put. Wise words.@ DelanaI have also began to protect myself from this type of music. No offense to Nicki, but I can't relate to her image or her lyrics. I commend her on pursuing her dream, but I'm disappointed by her choice of image. Sadly, if she had not have chosen this route, we wouldn't even be talking about her now, nor would she have made it this far. Society prefers this type of artist over the Lauryn Hills, Queen Latifah's, Eves, etc.@ the other AmandaSpoken like a true diva. Kudos to you my dear.@ MikeWisdom as always…keep coming back my brother.Thank you all for commenting. I wrote this to encourage further thought on the subject, and hopefully to challenge these ladies to change their way of thinking. Hopefully someone will take heed. We're better than this…God bless all.

  9. First of all thank you for taking the time to point out this ignorance of a mentality that some of these women have. Why is it that the more hood or whorish a female is the more the respect she gets? Within all due respect to Manij, she is making it seem cool to be a whore. These lost soles of teenage girls are easily influenced by this non sense. SMH!

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