Iyanla meets Aleesha, a woman molested as a child by her grandfather.
The episode begins with Iyanla meeting with Aleesha. Aleesha was abused by her grandfather, her mother’s father. She’s looking for an apology from her mom and her aunt because they did not believe her at first when it happened, then encouraged her to keep quiet about it.
She did no such thing.
Aleesha’s been quite vocal about her molestation, and her mom, aunt and grandmother “disowned” her. She tells Iyanla at the age of 6, and she told her Aunt about it as they were heading to their lake house.
Her mom and aunt confronted their father about it, and told Aleesha not to tell the police or her father, to protect their grandfather from physical harm.
Iyanla asks for permission to work with what she sees in Aleesha, not what she says. She brings up next how she feels disturbed Aleesha’s putting too much pressure on her daughter. Iyanla also tells Aleesha she put pressure on herself to stand for molestation. But, it keeps her broken.
“She needs to heal herself because she doesn’t even know who she is.” – Iyanla
At the end, Iyanla wraps a blanket Aleesha and consoles her. Aleesha cries out in anger. As she holds her, Iyanla tells her that she hopes she knows who she is at the end of this.
Iyanla learns from Aleesha’s mother Judy the extent of Aleesha’s anger.
Next, Iyanla meets with Alessha’s mother Judy. Judy acknowledges the secret of Alessha’s molestation is a source of Aleesha’s pain. She tells Iyanla the story of how she found out. Judy never questioned her father and was asked to not tell her mom. She was also asked not to tell Aleesha’s dad.
“One thing I told her is to not tell her dad because I was scared he would kill my dad.” – Judy
Iyanla points out that if she thought Aleesha’s dad was violent, Aleesha thought her dad was violent. Judy points out how there was a pattern of molestation by the men in the family. The silence has also been passed down in the family.
At the age of 15, Aleesha essentially blackmailed her grandfather for a car, and he then told his wife about it, according to Judy. Judy also explained in 2015, how Aleesha and her father Ray tried to extort money from Judy’s mother, threatening to talk about the molestation.
Judy then explains hurt she felt when she read Aleesha’s book, detailing the extent of her father’s molestation of Aleesha. Iyanla points out the painfully obvious to Judy about why Aleesha behaved how she did as she’s gotten older.
“…’cause she’s mad as h*** with you.” – Iyanla
Judy’s sister expresses her own regrets about Aleesha’s abuse.
Next, Iyanla meets with Aleesha’s aunt Sharon to talk about everything. Sharon hopes Aleesha and Judy bond once more and release their anger. She expressed anger and frustration over continually leaving Aleesha with their grandfather.
She didn’t want to shame Judy over it, and didn’t express this to her.
“It’s painful.” – Sharon
“You drank your pain for 18 years.” – Iyanla
Sharon receives praise from Iyanla, and is encouraged to express her thoughts about the situation to Aleesha and Judy.
Afterwards, Iyanla meets with Aleesha again for an exercise and to talk about the extortion attempts. In front of Aleesha are four groups of blocks that represent the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sides of life. She stacks the blocks based her opinion.
Aleesha was upfront about the exhortation attempt, and explained how her father told her to get money from her grandmother to start a non-profit.
Later, Iyanla uses the blocks to show how to build a foundation to stand on. Throughout their conversation, Iyanla explains how she and her mom need a “proper diagnosis.” To understand one another once more.
Judy and Aleesha finally see eye to eye.
It’s day two of their heeling process and Iyanla meets with Judy in the kitchen. Iyanla has Judy start cooking breakfast and intends to show how her behavior influenced Aleesha’s behavior.
As a parent, Judy says she was friends with Aleesha while Ray was the disciplinarian. A door bell rings and Judy goes to check, and the oatmeal on the stove begins to boil over. When Judy says Ray was arrested while married, she purposely dropped a bowl of items.
As things pop up, she struggles to keep track of her pot of oatmeal.
“This is a mess. We gotta take this mess and make it look good.” – Iyanla
This exercise brings Judy to tears.
Finally, Iyanla brings Aleesha and Judy together, but first, she has one more sit-down with Aleesha. Iyanla wants Aleesha to express how she felt neglected by her mother to Judy.
Before Judy comes in, Aleesha has a blindfold placed on her face and is led up to a room with Judy and Sharon, who’s also blindfolded. Iyanla will ask them questions about sitting in pain. As Aleesha speaks, Judy and Sharon have their blindfolds removed.
Aleesha has hers removed next and she tells Judy how she felt neglected when Judy wasn’t around to stop Ray from being physically abusive. Sharon then tells Judy how she felt disappointed taking their father’s word he wouldn’t hurt Aleesha again.
Judy admits she never realized her father was a child molester and that she messed up. She begins to cry, asking for forgiveness. Sharon also apologizes for defending her father and his behavior.
At the end, Aleesha realizes Judy and Sharon love her, despite their shortcomings. Iyanla presents gifts to them and Iyanla tells Aleesha to let her movement sit as she heals herself.
After the show, Aleesha agreed with Iyanla and took a step back from her crusade to focus on herself and her daughter. Judy said her relationship with Aleesha has never been stronger. Lastly, Judy and Sharon have been able to let go of the past and are working to move forward as a family.
What are your thoughts of the episode?
